“Amazing Grace”
Nursing Exemplar
The evening began like any other…electrified by the “tyranny of the urgent.” I received report and my assignment as CDF, (Charge Nurse for two units), then quickly began to check emergency equipment and assess the bed status on my two units. Rounding a corner, one of the more experienced nurses beckoned to me, asking that I visit a patient with her. She quietly and reverently described the patient as we walked as an 89 year old mother of seven who was dying from lung cancer. She and her family had determined that her final health decisions would be dictated by a Living Will which was translated in our system as a “Do Not Resuscitate” order. Our role was to support her efforts to breathe and to keep her as comfortable as possible. Three of her daughters were with her, and the remaining brothers and sisters were on their way. I sensed the finality of life before I entered the room as the sound of quiet sobbing met my ears. The patient’s rhythmic wheezing interspersed with occasional weak coughs and the bubbling water humidifying her oxygen were the only other sounds. The girls moved respectfully from her bed as we entered, but remained within arm’s reach. My friend introduced me as the CDF but also as the resident “religious person.” I almost laughed, but I knew what she meant, even if she didn’t. We quickly assessed the physical condition of this frail lady, then my friend offered to have me pray for their strength and comfort. Suddenly, the atmosphere shifted. Literally drowning in oxygen rich air, the patient still struggled, but we all began to breathe deeply the fresh air of peace. We explained to this mother what we were going to do as she smiled and closed her eyes. Holding hands around her bed, we thanked God for her life and for her influence, even from that bed. We acknowledged her years of service and then surrendered her to the arms of the only One who could ease her discomfort, her Savior, Jesus Christ. The peace that miraculously reaches beyond human understanding and provides light in the dark places of our lives began to fill the room and the hearts in it…especially ours as nurses.
All the children finally arrived, stationing themselves around their mother, taking turns holding her hands, fluffing her pillows…doing all the things she had done in days past to bring them comfort. Soon, they lifted her to a recliner to aide her efforts to breathe. She was so exhausted that they had to help her hold her head up to keep her airway open. Called to her room again, I entered to find seven adult children honoring their mother with broken hearts, looking for comfort that could only come from Heaven. Once again, I led them in prayer, then suddenly, I had the strongest urge to sing. I have NEVER sung to a patient in my life, so I timidly asked if she liked music. They all agreed music would be the best medicine, so we sang, “Amazing Grace.” The words were lovely even with faltering voices. For a moment, time stood still as we worshipped in spite of the pain, experiencing amazing grace from within…the ability to fully experience life and death without fear.
I haven’t sung to a patient since that night. It was a unique and one time event thus far, but it provided a framework for future situations in which a holistic approach is desperately needed. In our fast paced practice, we’re often uncomfortable when urged from within to provide for our patients’ emotional needs which may require a sacrifice of self-made comfort zones. Nursing has at its core, comfort…with a cost. May I always remember the effect of amazing grace with a willing heart to pay the price.
